SS Smokestack sunk and Gnome Kidnapper on the loose!

The SS Smokestack was returned to the dock yesterday and exchanged for a Saturn Ion, which doesn't stink. So far I kind of like the Saturn. It at least drives more like a car than a boat. It doesn't have any of the features that my mini has, but I guess I can live with it for a week. One thing that really sucks, I can't get into the damn garage. I think this car would fit, but I don't have a garage door opener. We only have one garage door opener for each garage door and my husband has them both. The mini has programmable frequency buttons, so I never needed an opener.

Now that I'm driving the rental and can't get in the garage, I'm using the front door. I discovered something quite upsetting yesterday. My garden gnome was kidnapped! I'm so so so unhappy about it. Not to mention pissed off. And a little scared by it. There's no telling how long its been gone, but my husband thinks its been at least 2 weeks. The garden gnome was a gift to us when we moved into our house last year. He's always sat on one of the rocks in the garden area by the front door. He would occasionally hop from rock to rock, but he never strayed out of the front garden. I can't believe someone would take off with him! They took him, but left the solar turtle light. Whomever took him must have known he was there. That means someone came up into my yard and picked him up. I live on a fucking cul-de-sac people, no one should be walking by my house, let alone in my front yard. I'm a little freaked. I'm debating on reporting it to the neighborhood watch association. I doubt they could do anything, but at least they could put out an alert to other homeowners that there is a garden gnome snatcher on the loose.

At least we have a big scary dog to deter hamburglers, which they'd be out of luck since we have no ham. People avoid even walking on the sidewalk in front of our house if the dog is outside. We let him out unleased into the front yard and it tends to freak out people who don't know him. He knows his boundaries and has never crossed them (unless chasing my husband on his bike). Auggie's boundaries consist of our front yard and both of our neighbor's front yards. He likes both of these neighbors (although one of them recently moved) and they like him so they call to him when they see him out. Auggie used to go whine at their front door of the neighbor who moved so they'd let their dog come out or let him come in. It worked most of the time. After we watched their dog for a week over the summer, he was confused as to where he actually lived. So whoever moves in is going to be in for a big surprise if I can't break Auggie of whining at that door.

If anyone sees my gnome's kidnappers, tell them we want our gnome back!